By Caroline M. Cole

“It sounds choppy… .” “Something seems to be missing… .” “It needs more flow… .” These and comparable observations emerge when people ask for feedback about their writing. And while students may be the greatest recipients of such comments, increasingly industry professionals are being flagged for their disjointed presentations of ideas. Perhaps such disconnections are the result of information overload—too many ideas about too many topics overwhelming our minds, making it impossible to sort and connect our thoughts as we could in simpler times. Or perhaps they’re a byproduct of a culture that prefers texting and tweeting random soundbytes as they come to mind. Whatever the reason, as the connections between and among ideas become thinner and thinner, audiences struggle to see the relationships we see, as we see them, weakening our ability to present meaningful information, sustain discussions, suggest relevance and, ultimately, persuade others that what we have to say is worth sharing.

Cohesion (what many people refer to as “flow”) is the unified presentation of information. Ensuring that all of the details that appear in a paragraph, section, document or even discussion are both relevant and aptly placed, cohesion allows readers and listeners to follow ideas and trains of logic with ease. Consequently, whether we are students writing essays for class, industry professionals generating workplace documents, or individuals simply wanting to convey information we deem significant, our ideas should stick together in ways that help others follow our thoughts efficiently and accurately. The strategies below can help in this effort and enhance the flow of our communication.

• Use physical proximity to advantage. One of the fastest ways to promote connection is to cluster like information within the same parts of a document or discussion, preventing audiences from bouncing back and forth, trying to gather and understand all of the seemingly disparate details about a particular topic. Consider, for example, a grocery list. Although we may generate a list of things we need as items come to mind, putting items into a grocery cart in the order they appear on the list would have us running between and among the aisles in ways that could be minimized if we were to group items according to the type of product—for example, fruits and vegetables, dairy, meat, paper products—and their location in a store.

Sorting and grouping make it easier to recognize patterns and relationships—fundamental components of cohesion—but the ways we sort and group can also affect meaning. If, for example, we have a red ball, a blue pyramid, and a yellow block, we can sort by color or by shape, depending on what we want to emphasize. And while this example may seem overly simplistic, we need only consider the ways an attorney might sort and cluster individual pieces of evidence to suggest the innocence or guilt of someone on trial to understand the impact that purposeful grouping can have on our audience’s interpretation of information.

By clustering individual points into larger discussions of like elements, we can use proximity to encourage audiences to see the relationships we want them to see, especially when this strategy is coupled with the following ones.

• Strategically order information. Related to physical proximity is information ordering, which can help the audience better understand our intentions in grouping information in the ways we do. For example, if we need to convey a succession of events, we might present information chronologically. Or, we might sequence information to explain cause and effect relationships. Or, we might present general concerns before pointing out particular problems. If these or other conventional patterns of organization do not fit our purposes, we might consider providing “old” information before “new” information, which uses information the audience may already know or be familiar with to contextualize information we want to introduce. Whatever pattern(s) we select, ordering information to echo our intensions can streamline and enhance our communication.

• Purposefully repeat information. Repetition can help connect and reinforce ideas, providing any repetition is conscientiously done. For example, at times we might repeat key points by elaborating or by giving additional examples. In other cases, we might allude to previous comments or ideas to connect the present conversation to parts of an earlier one. Or, when discussing more complex information, we might recap what we have discussed before moving on to the next topic. By selectively repeating words, phrases, and concepts, we can help readers and listeners draw connections between and among points across longer discussions.

• Use connective words and cohesive devices. Connective words are the equivalent of mortar between bricks, binding individual elements together into larger, unified structures. The most common category of connective words are transitions (also known as conjunctive adverbs), one or more words that, as a unit, establish and show the relationship between seemingly separate information and ideas. For instance, the transition in addition helps the reader know that the information we are providing aims to extend the current discussion, while the phrase in other words indicates that we are explaining an idea in another way so the audience can better understand potentially complex information. Without such cues, readers may struggle to understand which details are connected, and how, as evident in the following paragraph:

Effective writing is a difficult but important skill to master. It requires long hours of practice and concentration. The time is well spent. Writing is an indispensable tool that, some believe, can help determine a person’s level of professional success. People can make their case more effectively if they know how to write. Those who can write often succeed. Good writers can derive great pride and satisfaction from their efforts. Students and industry professionals should work to improve their writing skills if they truly want to impact others with their ideas.

Although each sentence has something to do with writing, the paragraph blurts out observations, resulting in a choppy list of information. By simply inserting transitions, we can signal how these observations connect, guiding the audience through the discussion with greater ease, as the following sample revision demonstrates:

Effective writing is a difficult but important skill to master. Although effective writing requires long hours of practice and concentration, the time is well spent. After all, writing is an indispensable tool that, some believe, can help determine a person’s level of professional success. That is to say, because people can make their case more effectively if they know how to write, people who can write often succeed, thereby allowing them to derive great pride and satisfaction from their efforts. In light of this information, students and industry professionals should work to improve their writing skills if they truly want to impact others with their ideas.

Most of the transitions in this revised paragraph appear at the beginning of the sentence, but some transitions can be placed in the middle or even at the end of a sentence for stylistic variety. There is no particular rule for deciding where to place transitions; intuition is often a factor—that, and the reader or listener’s ear.

It is also important to note that while some transitions are effective for connecting sentences, they are less effective when connecting paragraphs. The phrase “In addition,” for example, may link ideas in sequential sentences, but starting a paragraph with this phrase can be problematic for readers who can’t readily identify which discussion is being extended: the information in the previous sentence? the previous paragraph? the previous section? everything up to this point?

To strengthen the cohesion between paragraphs, therefore, we should replace transitional words and phrases with a subordinate clause that helps clarify the ideas we’re connecting. For example:

In addition,… or Also,…, would become In addition to [what, exactly?],…

However,…, would become “Although [point we’re going to shift],…

Transitions can increase the cohesion of our ideas, but pronouns and synonyms can also convey relationships. For example:

The press release will announce the opening of our newest store next month. In doing so, it will be the first in a series of promotional pieces that will specifically target tri-state area customers. This announcement will, for example, highlight car chains, de-icer’s, snow blowers, and other products residents in the Peaks Plains conventionally purchase at the Adler store or order online. Because it will also be the foundation for radio spots, the piece should be sensitive both to print and oral delivery.

Pronouns and synonyms, however, each come with a caution. Pronouns, for example, must have an instantly recognizable antecedent (that is, the word the pronoun represents) if their use is to encourage cohesion and clarity. Personal pronouns (that is, I, me, you, him, her, we, us, they, them) can be easier to infer by context, even when grammatical connections could be clearer—providing multiple people aren’t being referenced. Other pronouns, however, can be confusing, as exemplified by the demonstrative pronouns this, these, and those.

Used to point out specific entities, demonstrative pronouns will prompt audiences to wonder “This what?” when multiple possibilities arise. Therefore, to ensure our readers know what we are connecting, we should always follow demonstrative pronouns with a noun. For example:

this idea… this brief… this strategy… this prospect… this pitch

these budget figures… these announcements… these campaigns…

those proposals… those reviews… those candidates… those suggestions…

Synonyms also require care, for although they can minimize repetition, their connotations may inadvertently suggest meanings we do not intend. As such, we must verify that any alternate words we use are moving our audience toward the interpretations we are, in fact, suggesting.

* * *

Using connective words and cohesive devices is one of the easiest and most common strategies for making a presentation smoother than it might be otherwise. At times, however, we may need more than transitions to help one idea flow into the next: we may need to sustain our focus.

Many people are taught that each paragraph should focus on a single idea, which is typically identified in the paragraph’s topic sentence; they are also taught that each sentence in the paragraph should connect to the previous one. Unfortunately, even writers who follow this advice can generate paragraphs that seem choppy, mostly because of the particular information they are (and are not) linking. Take, for example, the following paragraph:

Many people struggle in the early stages of a new project. These projects, especially complex ones, may have steep learning curves. Further complicating matters is the fact that employees must perform myriad tasks—some of which may be unfamiliar—under time or resource constraints. These constraints can quickly determine the success or failure of the project. Such results can increase the pressures employees feel. Supervisors might add to these pressures, unknowingly affecting the project.…

On first read, this paragraph may seem understandable. After all, the order of information seems to move readers through the struggles of a new project, the paragraph uses connective words and other cohesive devices, and each sentence seems to build upon something the previous sentence addresses. A closer read, however, reveals this paragraph is disjointed and choppy, primarily because each sentence actually takes up a different topic. To demonstrate, consider the grammatical subject of each sentence in the paragraph:

Many people struggle in the early stages of a new project. These projects, especially complex ones, may have steep learning curves. Further complicating matters is the fact that employees must perform myriad tasks—some of which may be unfamiliar—under time or resource constraints. These constraints can quickly determine the success or failure of the project. Such results can increase the pressures employees feel. Supervisors might and to these pressures, unknowingly adding variables that can affect the project.…

Grammatical subjects are the primary focus of a sentence, indicating what the sentence is about. As such, the grammatical subject of a topic sentence identifies the focus of the discussion that follows. Unfortunately, whereas this paragraph’s topic sentence suggests the discussion will focus on “many people,” each of the subsequent sentences pick up on a different conversation, resulting in six topics with little to no information about any of them. In such cases, the choppiness readers experience is due to a list of topics that transitions alone can never bridge, simply because the gap between each topic is too wide.

To increase cohesion, we need to decide the topic of our discussion and use a consistent grammatical subject to sustain the focus on that topic. To demonstrate, consider how we might revise the paragraph, depending on the topic we find most important. If, for example, employees were the main focus, the revision might read:

Many employees struggle in the early stages of a new project. Employees, for example, often find steep learning curves when they begin a project, especially complex ones. To further complicate matters, employees must often perform myriad tasks—some of which may be unfamiliar—under time or resource constraints, and employees may find that these constraints can quickly determine the success or failure of their project, increasing the pressures they may feel. Employees may likewise feel pressure from supervisors, who may be affecting the project unknowingly.…

If, however, projects were the main focus, the paragraph could read:

Projects cause many people to struggle, especially in the early stages. These projects, especially complex ones, may have steep learning curves; moreover, they may require employees to perform myriad tasks—some of which may be unfamiliar—under time or resource constraints. A project may succeed or fail because of these constraints, thereby increasing the pressures employees feel. Projects can also be affected by supervisors, who unknowingly add variables that.…

By sustaining the topic sentence’s grammatical subject in all subsequent sentences in the discussion, we can generate discussions that flow.

Cohesion is instrumental to explaining relationships, thereby allowing us to develop ideas, build cases, and convey value to others. By incorporating these strategies in isolation or in tandem, we can help our audiences see the connections we see, as we see them, and streamline the presentation of our ideas.

Working toward Areté…
If you are interested in an overview of Traditional Patterns of Organization or a list of Transitional Words and Phrases, click on the links for a .pdf you can download and print. Then share your own strategies for enhancing the flow of ideas in the space below.